Unspeakable Joy
Jan 5, 2025 | by The Fellowship
My dad came from the era of tough guys, a mold he filled quite well. He was a fighter and this served him and those around him well - and sometimes not so well - throughout his life. His feistiness helped make a life in a world that did not give him all the grooming for success. He was forced to drop out of school in 8th grade to help work the farm on which he lived in Wisconsin.
Well, that feisty nature might even be described as very grouchy at times. He had a streak of stubbornness and pride that was quite apparent to those around him. However, that rough exterior often hid his softer inside that he did not like to expose. At times, that vulnerability showed up in the form of hurt feelings which he had trouble letting go of. It impacted some of the most important relationships in his life for years and even decades.
He grew up in a church that stresses works. In his family, there was more of a checklist mentality to his faith than a relationship with Jesus, so I had a deep concern about whether he was ever truly saved.
My mother passed away in the summer of 2023. The past 18 months have been difficult, but a tremendous blessing at the same time. Those who have been around my dad have seen quite an amazing transformation take place.
When we lost my mom, a lot of people were confused about why God would take her first. After all, she was in much better overall health than my dad and handled most everything to hold the household together while also caring for Dad.
In fact, Dad himself was quite angry, especially with God. So devastated by the loss, he did not know where to place his grief. He could not understand why a good God would take such an incredible person as my mom from this world or why he was so fortunate to have been given such an angel in his life. There were significant regrets about whether he treated her with the proper appreciation.
Dad became very reflective of how blessed he had been in many aspects of his life. This began a process of opening up and sharing his regrets and feelings of guilt. Over this time, much of that grouchy exterior faded and what we saw in those conversations was a very sweet and humble man.
The conversations became deeper as time went on. We talked several times about the joy of mom being in heaven. He commented that there was too much in his past for him to possibly go to heaven. My sister and I explained that just is not true -- Jesus’ sacrifice can redeem any of us if we trust in Him and repent of our sins. AND it is never too late. While it seemed God was working on our dad, we just were not confident that he would accept Jesus.
And that brings us to the past few weeks. To ensure that Dad could continue to live in his own house, my brother made a tremendous sacrifice in his own life by being available as a caretaker. Some of Dad’s recent health inflictions created a situation where it was becoming nearly impossible for my brother to cover all the needs. Despite trips to many doctors to address the growing issues, in the middle of December Dad became so ill that there was no choice but admitting him to the hospital.
Tests were run and ultimately he was moved to ICU, quite disoriented and foggy. We were notified that his organs were shutting down and he potentially had only hours left. As hospital staff focused on creating a comfortable environment for him, God provided a miracle! Dad was gifted with nearly two days of exceptional mental clarity.
As my siblings described, he became flat out chatty and talked about many things in his life. Not only able to say heartfelt goodbyes with family and friends, he gave and received forgiveness for past wounds. He put pride and stubbornness aside and shared his appreciation face to face with those in his life.
But that was not the greatest part of this miracle! During this time of clarity, my sister reminded him that Jesus still wanted him in His Kingdom and prayed with him about it for quite some time. A few minutes later while doing something else in the room, she heard Dad as he prayed and confessed his sins to the Lord and asked for Jesus to accept him. That has been an on-going prayer of mine for a long time. When I got this call from my sister, it was one of the greatest moments of joy in my entire life.
So going back to the question of how God could have taken my mom from this world first … I do not think Dad would have ever reached the point of peace and redemption in life without this time to reflect and change. And I just do not know where he would have stood in his relationship with Jesus. I believe God wanted both of them in heaven and as usual, His plans turn out better than ours!
Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life.
He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;
and whoever lives and believes in me will never die …
John 11:26