It is Time

May 26, 2024 | by Nancy Newbrough

As a young teenager, I was always curious about the Bible -- but many times did not understand what the verses meant. The two verses that became a significant part of my life were Psalms 46:10: Be still and know that I am God and Psalms 34:18: God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. I could not understand then why these verses kept popping up in my life, but recently the Lord made it very clear.

A year and a half ago, I started attending Faithwalking classes here at The Fellowship. Faithwalking gives us the tools we need to grow in our walk with God. This was all new, uncomfortable … and a little scary for me. To come out of my comfort zone was challenging! At one point in Faithwalking, we came to the question of forgiveness. Could I forgive? Could I forgive myself? I was studying how Jesus forgave the unforgivable by extending grace and how He encourages us to love each other. I was learning about cleaning up my messes and becoming present and authentic.

God very clearly showed me an opportunity to practice what I was studying. In all honesty, I was fearful … but willing to try. I am thankful in that moment the Holy Spirit brought conviction that was undeniable.

My challenge was to attempt to restore a relationship that had been broken for 13 years with my brother’s best friend from childhood. Phil and his family were very close to our family -- we were always together at every celebration. When my brother passed away in November 2010, Phil’s family was right there supporting us in every way.

I was going through a bad season and my brother’s death seemed unbearable. I was angry and downright hateful. Phil tried to console me, but I did not want anything to do with him or anyone else. I lashed out and severely hurt him -- and I did not even care. As the years passed, we would cross paths but avoid each other. I could see he was still very hurt but chose to ignore him.

Recently, my cousin passed away suddenly. It was in that setting I again saw Phil, his wife and family and felt a great heaviness in my heart. I knew it was God saying, “It is time!” I went up and hugged him, telling him I was sorry for my rejection all those years ago. He began to cry uncontrollably. 

A few days later, I sent him a message, asking if he and his wife would have lunch with me. They accepted. When I arrived, we all embraced. I held their hands and asked if they would extend grace to me and forgive me for the pain I caused. They both cried and said yes.

I asked him what the impact of my actions on him had been, and I asked his wife the same question. He spoke about feeling lost, confused and ultimately angry. He could not figure out what he had done wrong. His wife said I did not have to apologize to her, but she was so thankful for the compassion I was extending. Because of it, her husband was a different person – peace was now so evident in him.

I assured Phil that he had done nothing wrong. My apology to his wife was because she had to watch her husband go through all the emotional pain I caused. “Is there anything I can do to make up for this?” I asked. The only thing they suggested was to stay in touch. We exchanged phone numbers.

The Lord brought both those verses from my younger days to mind – how we are to be still before Him and listen -- and how He is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Seeking forgiveness from the one I had wronged was the hardest thing I have done, but it gave me such freedom from my own brokenness. What a huge blessing to obey and serve the way the Lord intends! I give all the glory to God our Father. To Him be all honor and praise!

Therefore confess your sins to each other …
James 5:16