The Wall Came Down
May 24, 2020 | by Nancy Newbrough
I have always believed that God is in charge. I do not always understand or like my circumstances, but even when not in agreement with what is happening -- I know it is so. And God continually graces us in so many ways that most of the time, it goes unnoticed.
When this virus pandemic broke out, my company sent all of their employees’ home to work remotely. Shortly after that, my chronic ulcerative colitis flared up. This is an inflammatory disease of the large intestine. The inner lining becomes infected and ulcers may form. For me that means diarrhea all the time and trips to the bathroom every few minutes. While the flare-up itself is bad, the huge blessing is the fact that working from home means a bathroom is easily accessible.
Unfortunately, this blowup has come with a lot of pain! I am not good with pain; in fact you could say I am a big sissy! I was brought up in another denomination that emphasizes good works and guilt -- which was contributing to my distress. Though I feel there is a lot lacking in that denomination’s teachings, in the end, even for them -- Jesus is the way.
However, The Fellowship is where my real relationship with God began in earnest. I was invited to attend by a friend from work. At the time I was going with my dad to a church of the other denomination. It is where he and Mom attended for my years. My mom passed away, but Dad kept on going. He became unhappy when one day the priest decided to talk politics from the pulpit. We tried The Fellowship and found our church home!
The Fellowship is where I learned the most important thing about God! Just showing up on Sunday is not what He wants! It is a relationship with me! He is waiting with arms wide open for us to reach out to Him, get to know Him, love Him and let Him love us. And this is where my miracle begins!
I had asked everyone connected with me in any way to pray for physical healing for my body, but God had a much greater plan than I could have ever imagined! I had heard of declaring the Word of the Lord, but never really believed it! Though I had kind of tried it when in major pain, other thoughts were always there: Maybe He is not healing me because I am not good enough or kind enough or have not done enough for others. Maybe He just does not feel I am important enough to heal.
Being stuck at home and effectively shut down by my flare-up, all I had was God! I began thinking about the sermons at The Fellowship on how much God values us and how we who believe in Jesus are His children! If He can watch over the birds in the sky, how much more is He watching over me, too. So, I did it! I declared: “Jesus is my Lord and Savior! My Father God loves me and will heal me!” To my surprise, there was no wondering or questions or doubt. I truly believed for the first time that God really does love me! That He has promised to watch over and care for me! That I am His daughter!
God broke down a wall that day that I did not even realize was there! I really am worthy ... I never actually believed it before! Like Paul says in Romans 8:39, nothing can separate us from the love of God!
The opening of my eyes to God’s incredible love for me has been a healing I needed even more than a physical one! I am still working on the physical healing, but knowing God is with me and being 100% secure about His love for me makes this trial so much easier! Being totally assured that as His child I really am worthy of His love gives me great security that everything will turn out all right!
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called the children of God.
1 John 3:1