So Much Better
Aug 1, 2021 | by The Fellowship
About 12 years ago, I was diagnosed with an assortment of chronic diseases, including Lupus, Addison’s Disease and Epilepsy. Over the years since, my health has been a roller coaster, being fine and stable for a short time to hospital stays and endless doctor visits the next. The literal handful of medications needed to control these diseases often had more side effects than the problems they were meant to fix.
My days were typically a guessing game as to whether I would be able to function normally or if I would be “flaring” so badly that even a shower drained me and sometimes even required help from my husband. Because of the medications, pain, doctor appointments and lack of energy, having children seemed like something impossible. Not only was I unsure if my health would ever be stable enough to carry a baby to term without taking the medications required to manage my health, but I never believed that I would be healthy enough to keep up with kids and give them the kind of attention that they require.
Over the nine years that my husband and I have been married, we have struggled with the decision of starting a family. On many occasions, we have started the conversation only to be told upon consulting doctors that my health was not in a place that was safe for me to become pregnant. The number of prayers we have lifted to the Lord about this are beyond counting.
Finally, in January of last year, I was able to get approval from all my specialists to begin weaning off some of the medications that would be unsafe to take during pregnancy. This took over a year, but after a few medication changes and very close monitoring, I was given the green light to start trying for a baby. On our eighth wedding anniversary, we found out that I was pregnant! Unfortunately, nine weeks later, I miscarried.
While heartbroken, we were also very concerned that it had been caused by one of my many health issues. Would another pregnancy be followed by a similar loss? The only way to know was to pray and continue to try. To our surprise, I got pregnant almost immediately! And just three weeks ago, I delivered a healthy 5 lb. 13 oz. baby boy named Elijah David! All glory to God!
Over the years, especially in the beginning, my walk with Christ has had its ups and downs -- with me often doubting His love and faithfulness because of what I was going through. When the life I had imagined and worked for growing up was completely shattered and taken away by health issues, it seemed like some sort of punishment that I did not deserve. But 12 years later as I stand back and am able to see what my life is now and how full it is, I very clearly see that God has used the worst experiences in my life to bless me beyond my wildest dreams!
I have never experienced the kind of joy and sense of purpose that I feel now since becoming a mother. Everything I have ever done in my life before now seems pointless compared to taking care of my baby boy.
Over the years of being sick, I have learned that God’s plans for our lives are so much bigger than anything we could even begin to imagine. While I never would have wished for my health problems, what I have been through has made me a better person. My faith in Christ is stronger than it ever would have been had I not been down this road. God has proven His grace and love and mercy in my life time and time again. Whenever I look at my sweet baby, I am reminded that Christ is always faithful, always loving and always has a plan so much better than anything we could imagine for ourselves.
… “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God
has prepared for those who love him” …
1 Corinthians 2:9