Let It Go
May 7, 2023 | by The Fellowship
I was born in China. My father constantly put me down, saying I would never amount to anything or succeed. Even when I graduated with a degree in English, the first in my class to receive a job offer, he still responded negatively. My mother died my sophomore year in college.
When I was a senior, my economics professor was a retired American corporate executive, and we became friends. He invited me to visit him and his wife in Oregon, and I was so excited. My dad agreed to pay my way. A huge hurdle was to obtain a visa, so the professor gave me a letter of invitation. Many around me at the visa office were getting rejected, but I miraculously received a six-month visitor’s visa the day I applied.
The professor and I took the same flight to the U.S. Upon landing in San Francisco, we were separated since he was a citizen, and I was not. In fact, I was treated like an illegal and saw people around me being handcuffed and led away. I had bought a one-way ticket, and it made officials assume the worst. Shaking with fear, I kept showing them the professor’s letter. They finally found him to confirm my story. After being required to buy a return ticket, I was released.
The week I spent with the professor and his wife was probably the happiest in my life. Treated like royalty, I was taught about the culture and taken shopping and sightseeing. The wife asked about my religious beliefs, and she was shocked when I told her I had none.
After a week I flew to Princeton, N.J., where I had been asked to deliver a violin to a family friend. There the mother-in-law treated me with hostility. So, I left and went to New York City. Totally clueless about getting a decent job, I accepted one at a restaurant which included a place to sleep -- but was very hard labor. I soon found another job and rented a room. At this point my father told me to never return to China because he would no longer acknowledge me as his daughter
With my English skills, I eventually got a better job. So very lonely, I signed up with a Chinese marriage agency and began dating a man who was 11 years older. A year later, we married. I was now working for a Chinese bank and licensed to sell securities. He was a consultant who was only home on weekends. I was so lonely and begged to accompany him on his business trips, but he refused. After I had a baby, his controlling mom became the babysitter while I worked. Suffering from postpartum depression and great unhappiness, I began planning to leave. I came home one day to discover his mom had taken my daughter to China with no way to find her. A friend invited me to a Chinese church and the music gave me comfort, but nobody shared the gospel with me.
My husband and I divorced. So desperate for someone to love me, I signed up with a dating website and began corresponding with a man in China. After two months, he came to New York and coerced me to marry him. Because of being so needy, I agreed. He immediately began pursuing a green card. I was transferred to California, and we moved there. It did not take long to realize I had married a violent man whose sole purpose was to get a green card. I petitioned for a divorce and vanished. Houston was my destination. As I approached I-10, there was a rainbow over the city.
After finding a place to live and getting a job, I began attending a Chinese community church and a Small Group. The couple who led it was so full of unconditional love and selflessness that I knew it could only be because of the God they served. I opened my heart to the Lord and surrendered my life to Jesus.
One month after moving to Houston, my doorbell rang … and there stood my husband. He had found me and put on a great show of remorse, asking forgiveness, and declaring his undying love. When I shared about my new faith, he pretended to embrace it and was baptized with me. We reconciled and I became pregnant.
My husband received a green card, and when our daughter was born – he disappeared. Two years later, one of the victims whom he scammed called to say he owed her a large sum of money and asked me to pay her back. We divorced. So furious at being deceived, I wrote a letter to Immigration to expose him.
On the way to mail it, the sun suddenly was shining in my face, and I felt God telling me to let my anger go because He was the judge and would take vengeance. The Lord was calling me to leave the darkness behind and move forward in His light.
As a single mother for eight years, virtually from the birth of my daughter, my life is very challenging and prayer my constant companion. My strength and my hope come from the Lord who sustains me.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.